Inspired by the song “Careless Whisper” by George Michael.
I see you. You sit at the centre of the High Table mounted on that dais. I can see your eyes looking. Piercing. They are filled with profound sadness and a touch of bewilderment. Your eyes, like detectives, search my dark soul for that ounce of truth: for that light. Then, I see the twinkle of hope fade from your green eyes.
But here she sits across me in the diner. Both elbows on her lap. Her ice cream continues to melt. She finally looks away: her head is bowed for a few minutes. I could swear I caught a glint of anger in her eyes. But it quickly vanished, and turned into… Well… I don’t know how to describe it. What I saw then could only be described as a wall: she had sealed herself. It was as if she rebuked herself. It was as if she had told herself, I had no right.
So even though Coward is my middle name. Even though I cannot utter this out loud. Even though it won’t be heard if I tried. Here goes: I am guilty as charged. I plead guilty to all charges: cheating you and taking you for a fool. I know you’re no fool. You just fell for a cruel man. We should have skipped this vile dance altogether. We could have lived this life together, forever.
And so my love gets up. Slowly. What am I even saying? Sigh. My ex-love lifts herself from her chair. The untouched ice cream is almost liquid. She takes her long strap purse and hangs it on her shoulder, across her body. Then she bids me goodbye. I wasn’t ever going to see her again, was I?